Pirate Monk Podcast

Our Guest: Aaron has a talk with Trent Dollyhigh. Trent is from Mayberry. Yes, that Mayberry. He grew up with whistling, fishing, violence and pornography. Trent was also youth pastor to Andrew Bauman. He shares that Andrew was a student of his and now he is a student of Andrew. Trent discusses how unresolved trauma is usually repeated, and the value of understanding an abuser's history. In his ministry, Trent “helps men die a good death so they can live a good life.” Finally, he addresses why having intelligence is not enough to heal.

Links:  
Be Vulner...

On this episode: Pablito is not Nate, and Rob is back from retirement. Together, they compare improv to recovery.

Our Guest: Aaron and Tim Ice interview Joel Roberts. Joel shares his transition from military career to becoming a therapist. He discusses how our culture and church are not characteristically raising men to be husbands and fathers, and how important it is to pursue growth in those areas. Understanding why it is important of share your story from the perspective of villain, victim, and hero.

Links:  
Deeper Stories Counseling
Events:
2024 Samson Summit
Sp...

On this episode: This week Aaron goes solo.

Our Guests: Daniel Weiss and Josh Glaser. Josh is executive director at Regeneration Ministries where he works with parents, equipping them in the digital age with kids. Daniel comes from Focus on the Family, where he specialized in healthy sexuality for families and now, he equips leaders to promote Gospel-centered sexuality in the church. Together, these gentlemen co-authored a book to parents from parents titled: Treading Boldly Through a Pornographic World: A field Guide for Parents. The book helps parents get involved in discussions about the body and sex...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron made it back from England. Aaron gets up at 2am.

Our Guest: Aaron and Nate have a discussion with Justin, Jason, and Mark. Nate is anxious about going to a group intensive lead by Andrew Bauman and wants the guys to give him the lowdown. Justin, Jason, and Mark share what they experienced as they recently went through the retreat together. They share how recovery is more than an intellectual fix or sobriety. The group discusses why it's important to have multiple avenues in the process of recovery. How recovery is...

On this episode: Nate is travelling. Aaron hosts solo and has many sub points.

Our Guest: Dr. Joel Muddamalle. Joel resides in North Carolina via Chicago. He co-hosts a podcast with Lysa TerKeurst and Jim Cress called Therapy and Theology. Joel shares his journey of trauma to arrogance then humility. He guides us to see how safe curiosity brings us to humility and back to our own humanity. Joel also shows us that we can have peace and rest via codependency on God. He gives some practical exercises on sharing with others to help us see ourselves...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron talk about Father's Day in England and time zone challenges. Aaron smokes everything, even asparagus.

Our Guest: Returning guest Michael Johnson became a marriage expert as a single person and felt led to start a marriage ministry after 10 years in his own marriage. The discussion includes seeing beyond the obvious by supplementing feelings with facts. How to reprogram your sex drive by keeping dating out in the open. Michael shares why its so easy to fall for the wrong person. Fun facts include stats about arranged marriages and love marriages being...

On this episode: Aaron gets socks, and Nate just got back from recovery church.

Our Guest: Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith are founders of Renewing Us Recovery, where they help couples renew and repair relationships affected by sexual addiction, infidelity, and betrayal. Matthew shares his journey from youth pastor back to seminary where he and Joanna learned of the connection between therapy, psychology, and faith. He also talks about his road to recovery from sexual addiction through the 12-step process, and later to helping other couples in the healing process. Matthew & Joanna share the importance of having community...

On this episode: Aaron has been writing. He turns one book into several books. Nate and Aaron also discuss the gospel, recovery, and dealing with the internal parts.

Our Guest: Fausto Estrada shares how his story of addiction took him from Honduras to a place of healing in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He shares that reading more books, getting married and having kids did not cure his addiction. He became involved in Prodigals International. After much success, he translated the material to take to those in need in Spanish speaking cultures.

Links:  
Prodigals International - en...

On this episode: Nate changed religions to pescatarian and Aaron talks about when he was vegan. They also discuss the podcast break and England long-walk.

Our Guest: Leslie Vernick - host of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered podcast. They discuss the reality that new curtains don’t fix the termites in the basement of our relationships. Leslie explains the truth that we want people in our lives, but some people use each other as objects. She gives examples of many types of abuse that can happen in a relationship. There is hope for change. We have to own what we...

The Pirate Monk Podcast will be taking a break for the next several weeks to give our volunteers a much-needed rest.  We plan to resume posting new episodes again in July.  If you can't live without your PMpod fix in the meantime, please take advantage of the 400+ episodes in our back catalogue to listen to some that you may have skipped or would like to revisit!

On this episode: Aaron is tired and cleans the fridge. Nate talks about the dragon of our age.

Our Guest: Aundi Kolber - licensed professional counselor, author, speaker, wife, and mom. She shares her journey of being raised in the Catholic church and complex trauma. She encourages us to be present, loving, honoring, and respecting ourselves along the journey as she discusses her books Strong Like Water and Try Softer.

Links:  
Aundi’s Website
Aundi’s Instagram
Psychology Today
Aundi’s Books:
Try Softer
Try Softer Guided Journey
Strong L...

On this episode: Aaron rides an exercise bike and figures out how to get paid to exercise. Nate reconsiders his gym membership.

Our Guest: Michael Ayala-White, a Buffalo NY native, is a Trauma Informed Certified Coach who is located in Buffalo, NY, but his certification is global and does remote coaching with clients all over the country. He specializes in addiction recovery, inner child work, and trauma informed coaching. He talks about the differences between toxic shame and everyday shame and how to work on them in healthy ways. Michael discusses his disconnects between reading the Bible...

On this episode: Nate observes people starting to walk on sidewalks. Aaron shares his crush on Anne of Green Gables.

Our Guest: Kim Evenson comes to us from Oslo Norway by way of Australia. He discusses the desire and need for close male relationships. Kim shares the foundation of friendship being love, and including compassion, vulnerability, comfort, hugs, and seeing each other face to face. He started Brothers first out of selfish need, along with the desire to help others. We also consider friendship as we look at the relationships modeled by God and Jesus.

...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron discuss ADHD, convergent and divergent thinking. How someone with ADHD isn’t broken.

Our Guest: Rachel Allen has lived in Alabama and Tennessee, and now calls Utah her home. She is a CSAT who works with a lot of women and couples. She shares her fascination with human behavior and how she started explaining sexuality to women in college. Rachel urges women not to Google Women’s Sexuality, especially in considering rape and purity culture, women’s masturbation, and sexual addiction. She educates on sexual anorexia, shame, body hate, control, and dopami...

On this episode: Aaron and Nate each allow Dr. Andrew J. Bauman to lead them in some therapy work. This episode is subdivided into two parts: first with Aaron and then with Nate, where Dr. Bauman walks them through exercises to connect their mind, feelings, body, and spirit for healing. Andrew will be the lead speaker at the 2024 Samson Summit, sharing how we can be closer to God through engaging our secrets and shame. 

Links:  
Andrew J. Bauman
Events:
2024 Samson Summit
Sponsor:
Life Works Counseling

If you have thou...

Our Guest: Aaron interviews our guest, Dr. Tamara Rosier. Dr. Tamara is an ADHD coach, and the founder of the ADHD Center in West Michigan. She shares her knowledge and history of ADHD going back to the 1800’s. Ways to cope with the thing that gives you reoccurring anxiety, including emotionally engineering your day. The fact that ADHD people are more susceptible to addiction, because dopamine makes them feel more “normal.” Other topics include ADHD in marriage, supporting kids with ADHD, Convergent and Divergent Thinking, and flight, flight, freeze, and appease.

Links:  d
Dr. Tamara Rosier
Boo...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron debate one day for p@rn. Nate updates us on his speaking engagements.

Our Guest: Nate and Aaron interview our guests, Chelsea and Layton Boeve. Chelsea and Layton host the Liberator podcast. The Michiganders share their journey that brought them to their passion for strong and healthy relationships. Layton grew up without TV and became a voracious reader which started his journey into fantasy and later porn. Chelsea brings us to an understanding of how trust is broken with image consumption. The couple shares how healing in a relationship happens as...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron discuss 13 foot, 5 inch Oscar. Nate builds a screened-in treehouse.

Our Guest: Natives of Miami, Josh and Charlene share their real-life experiences with alcoholism and substance abuse. Josh also talks about sex and work addiction and trading one addiction for another as part of his recovery in 12-step. Charlene’s journey in recovery includes becoming a certified addiction professional and an IITAP certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT). Josh’s journey includes becoming a sponsor and recovery coach. Together they have created an online intensive program for outpatient recovery trea...

On this episode: Pablito and Rob didn’t get fired. Rob feels different ages when he dances. Is dancing a metaphor for life?

Our Guest: Nate and Aaron welcome Jeremy Morris. Jeremy is from Western Idaho and brings a majestic beard and loads of life experience. He engages the lie that if others really knew us, they wouldn’t love us. Talking about your story in the present, sharing where the battle IS. Discussing the differences of transparency and vulnerability. Rejoicing with those who rejoice, and mourning with those who mourn. Honoring each other with our time, hold...

On this episode: Pablito and Rob are impulsive. Rob shares how he engages his stories with the gospel.

Our Guest: Nate welcomes this week’s guest, Ashley Chesnut. Ashley is an author, young adult minister, and PHD student in Birmingham, AL. She discusses her book: It's Not Just You, and how that helps women engage their stories and experience freedom from p0rn and m@sturbation. Ashley shares how the world of women’s recovery is developing and gaining more traction and resources. She also discusses the shortcomings of the church's discussion about the body, sex, and doub...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron discuss how macho and competitive Valentines Day can be.

Our Guest: Nate and Aaron interview our guest, Dr. Roy Smith. Roy is a speaker, psychologist and author. He discusses his books, Inside Fatherhood for men, and The Campfire Gang Series for youth. Roy shares how his difficult and traumatic growing up years shaped his path to becoming a psychologist. A discussion around thanking your abuser. The balance of work and family. And a shift from saving others to serving other.

Links:  
Live Up Resources
Servant Oasis
Event...

On this episode: Nate is rucking things up. Aaron doesn’t understand why the rucking ruckers would ruck their @sses off.

Our Guest: Nate and Aaron welcome back Tullian Tchividjian to the podcast for the third time. Tullian shares the value of crashing and burning in his just released book: Carnage and Grace. Topics include giving ourselves grace for not knowing what we don’t know and the human propensity to fück things up. The guys also discuss earning your Pharisee certificate. The importance of sitting with others in their pain and asking before giving advice rathe...

On this episode: We catch up on sports ball roulette with Nate and Aaron. Aaron reveals that he looks sh!t in spandex. Also, updates on the Harbor House are sailing in.

Our Guest: Nate and Aaron interview our guest, David Murrow. David is a preacher, coach, speaker and author. On this episode, we discuss David’s book: Why Men Hate Going to Church and how to overcome this challenge. David guides us down a path of healing and growth using another book, The Map: The Way of All Great Men. Understanding that the journey of submission, stre...

On this episode: Pablito and Rob host. Pablito shares man cave woes. Swifties and important sports snacks are also discussed.

Our Guest: Aaron interviews our guest, Ray Ortlund. Ray is a husband of over 50 years, father, grandfather, author, and minister. Discussing “Death of P0rn” and how it's like a modern-day fight against slavery. Ray encourages us to use strong words when describing p0rn usage, encouraged that Jesus is big enough to cover our sins. The importance of confessing sin one-to-another and then praying that we may be healed. Also the question: As we say "no" to o...

On this episode: Samson celebrates the 20th Anniversary of its first meeting! Nate, Aaron, and Erin host and interview this week. Erin updates us on the pillow fights at the Sarah Society (no really, its a therapeutic technique). She also discusses the meetings, members, summits and webinars of the Sarah Society. 

Our Guest: This week we get to know Dr. Sheri Keffer. Dr. Sheri is an author, speaker, talk-show host, and therapist with over 20 years experience. She provides personal and professional expertise in helping the betrayed, betrayer, and the couple in relationship. As a CSAT, Dr. Sheri, un...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron are back. Aaron drives 75 hours and has technology challenges. Nate and Aaron discuss anxiety and panic attacks.

Our Guest: Aaron interviews Greg Oliver after a 9-year break. Greg is executive director at Awaken, a 12-step recovery group in Birmingham Alabama. He shares his background and story of what brought him into his personal recovery and the need for recovery groups in his area. Greg and Aaron discuss disappointment in someone and disappointment for someone. We are encouraged to look into “what we really want” when we are seeking to escape, and will...

On this episode: Pablito and Rob host. Pablito has a birthday and experiences connection.

Our Guest: Aaron interviews our guest, Brant Hansen. Brant is an emcee, radio show host, author, hero, and philanthropist. He encourages removing the makeup from Jesus. Brant shares many stories of blessings, cures, love, and miracles. Debating the gift and blessings of time and financial contributions as he works with Cure to heal and equip the world.

Links:  
Cure
Brant Hansen
Book:
Brant on Amazon

Sponsor:
Life Works Counseling

If you...

On this episode: Pablito and Rob bumper. Nate and Aaron may be striking or joining SAG. Pablito considers mug shots.

Our Guest: Nate and Aaron interview our guest, Chuck Degroat. His experience includes: Professor of pastoral care and Christian Spirituality and Executive Director of the Clinical Mental Health Counseling Program at Western Theological Seminary in Holland Michigan, author, pastor, therapist, spiritual director, husband, and father. Narcissism expert Chuck teaches us about the differences between narcissist behavior and narcissistic personality disorder. He explains the nine faces of narcissism. Understanding how narcissism can be a way of coping with...

On this episode: Pablito (Paul) and Rob share holiday memories, hope, and gratitude.

Our Guest: Aaron Interviews our guest, George Wehby. Alabama born and raised, George has an impressive resume: Marine, police officer, air marshal, Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, business owner, tv show host, and tactical firearms instructor. He was basically a guy trying to find himself in stereotypical masculinity and earn his dad’s approval. George discusses the Man on Purpose Blueprint, a course that is designed both for those who are and who are not stereotypically “manly.” The course that helps you find purpose in person...

On this episode: Nate goes to a s#xy place. Nate and Aaron talk about the purity culture, damaged goods and integrity in the journey.

Our Guest: Roy Wooten is the executive director of The Crucible Project, pastor, minister, coach, and counselor. He shares how his adolescence and family mental health challenges have shaped his desire to help others in his career and ministry. Roy discusses athletics and his connection to the movie “Friday Night Lights.” His journey of wholeness and healing with the Crucible Project Christians retreat and how he leads and serves other men on thei...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron keep you a-bosom of Harbor House renovations.

Our Guest: Dr. Hilarie Cash. Her experience includes: co-founder and chief clinical officer at ReStart Life, CSAT, author, internet rehab therapist, educator, and mother. Discussions include how the internet has changed over time to become more addictive, augmented reality and virtual reality, and the right vs. privilege of use. How screens override our natural tendencies of hunger and the need for restroom breaks. Dr. Hillarie also shares with us the down sides to internet/smartphone/computer usage too early in a child’s life. Re...

IMPORTANT: In the original version of this episode, when our guest was discussing his suicide attempt, he stated that someone couldn't die from an overdose of Tylenol.  This is inaccurate, so we removed this statement.  If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the National Suicide Hotline by dialing 988.

On this episode: hosted by Aaron and Tom (T.C.) Ryan. Aaron gets a heater, and Tom feels useful. Tom also discusses Living Integrated, which includes free resources and a 14-day intensive.

Our Guest: Dr. Mark Mayfield. Mark is a leadership coac...

On this episode: Pablito and Rob discuss burritos, other California food, and real estate.

Our Guest: Nate Interviews our guest Sam Serio. Sam is a preacher, counselor, author, and speaker. In this episode, Sam discusses his book: Sensitive Preaching to the Sexual Hurting. He shares how he learned from his own failures. He teaches how to be invitational instead of condemnational. Sam advocates ministering to people instead of talking about topics.

Links:  
Healing Sexual Hurt
Sam’s email
Book:
Sensitive Preaching to the Sexual Hurting

Sponsor:
Life Works Coun...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron discuss the cocktail approach to recovery and provide some details of the Long Walk in England in June 2024.

Our Guest: Drew Boa - podcaster, YouTuber, founder of Husband Material, and coach. Defining triggers, how they work, the temptations, and the flight/fight/freeze reactions. Listening to the story the trigger is telling, befriending the little boy in the story. How to address what I’m feeling without projecting it onto others. Surfing the urge; triggers have a lifespan; ride the wave. Understanding the dopamine path and how it can be rewritten in...

Our Guest: Nate and Aaron interview our guest, Blaine Eldredge. Blaine, the middle son of a mix between Elijah the prophet and Willy Wonka. He tells us about how he accidentally wrote a book on his path to understand God. Blaine shares his journey of not being “enough” and learning his identity and security. Discussing the value of being an outsider vs. and insider, and how everyone is an outsider. Identifying yourself by where you belong, not where you don’t belong.

Links:  
Blaine Eldredge
Books:
The Paradise King

Sponsor:
Life Works Co...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron discuss the ups and downs of the holidays and encourage us to lean into community during these seasons.

Our Guest: Jonathan Daugherty, founder and president of Be Broken Ministries, podcaster, and recovering addict. Be Broken Ministries includes help for men, women, and families. Jonathan shares his journey and need to start the ministry. The Story of how his wife left him and their marriage was able to be reconciled. Recovery is a process and journey, not a check box or destination. Encouragement that our stories are not to be solved, but...

On this episode: Guest hosts Rob and Pablito reflect on the Samson Summit. They also debate the important issue of In-N-Out Burger vs. Whataburger.

Our Guest: Nate and Aaron interview our guest, Victor Marx. Victor is a survivor, veteran, husband, father, minister, and CEO of All Things Possible Ministries. He shares his stories of trauma and harm and how it has been turned around and used to help rescue over 45,000 people. His journey from “neutral emotions” to recovery including over 120 visits to trauma specialists in nine months. Addressing post-traumatic stress and PTSD. Asking yourself: am I healthy righ...

On this episode: Nate expresses gratitude and shares the role his wife played in starting the Samson Society. Aaron reflects on the Samson Summit and requests listeners to send in questions, experiences, and thoughts.

Our Guest: Tod Bolsinger: former pastor, associate professor of leadership at De Pree Center, and author. Tod discusses what happens when old best practices no longer work, adaptive leadership. The differences between adaptive and technical leadership, learning in real time. The three hardest words in the English language: I don’t know. The fallacy of “fake it till you make it.” Encouraging people to be...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron give Halloween updates.

Our Guest: Sheila Paige Harkins is a missionary kid, missionary, artist, and author. She shares her story of missions, marriage, adoption and how life happened in those events. She cautions about giving more energy to her husband's healing than he was giving. The damages of “trickle disclosure” and why it happens. Sheila took to the therapy of painting to heal, release, and understand her relationship with God.  She helps answer another Question from Albuquerque about women with porn addiction and is masturbation okay.

On this episode: Nate and Aaron discuss how to deal with relapse including gentleness and curiosity.

Our Guest: Jenna Riemersma is an IFS therapist and author of Altogether You. She explains how Internal Family System therapy practices work to help their clients. Jenna leads us though a very powerful exercise to examine, understand, and grow related to our escaping behavior. Understanding authentic-self-led power versus manager-led power.

Links:  
Jenna Riemersma's Website
Altogether You Book

Sponsor:
Life Works Counseling

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the...

On this episode: Nate, Aaron and guest host Elijah Lloyd Jones cure all that ails you, explaining how to cast your burdens on Christ. Also, be careful “shoulding” on yourself.

Our Guest: Carver Brown is a recovery coach, recovery coach trainer, structured family recovery counselor, love first interventionists, and Life Works coach. He comes to us with over 20 years of sober experience. Carver reminds us that recovery is messy, we will mess up, but we are getting better. He walks us through the four types of amends and how to do them, as well as some mistakes and...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron skip the intro and get right to the interview.

Our Guest: Dr. Bruce Hebel is an author, pastor, pastor's kid, and speaker. He brings the freedom of the gospel through forgiveness, revolutionary transformative change. Bruce discusses why it's important to forgive, citing that it can help relieve depression, anxiety, paranoia, and addiction. The choice we have to forgive or hold grudges. Bruce discusses the 7-step process of forgiveness and healing. He shares stories of change and hope. Reminding us that forgiveness is not reconciliation or trust but can lead to both.<...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron discuss delight in walking alongside others and seeing their growth and first-time experiences.

Our Guest: Andy Gullahorn, singer/songwriter, musician, and musical guest at the 2023 Samson Summit in Van TX. Andy is also nearly an O.G. Samson brother! Discussing the benefits of sobriety, including creativity, being in your own body physically and emotionally, vulnerability, and the value of the recovery experience. Andy guides us to honor the experiences of what actually happened. Also discussed are sarcasm and the song writing process.

Links:  
Andy Gullahorn

Sponsor:

On this episode: Nate and Aaron answer questions about patience in recovery, and speculate about Paul maybe wanting to wack off.

Our Guest: Rebekah Vickery: Therapist, Allender Center trained, and Trauma Specialist. Rebekah shares her work concerning church and sexual trauma. Discussing the fault of spiritual bypass: ignoring the situation, feelings, what’s wrong, and focusing on religion. Sharing the importance of connecting to others to repair shame. Repairing “purity culture”: learning to (re)connect to your body, hunger, and feelings. The importance of Trader Joe's tissues.

Links:  
Heart Root
Rebekah’s email

Spon...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron discussing grieving and wailing, one step at time.

Q from A: Why is it important to have separate men's and women’s sex addiction recovery groups?

Our Guest: Phil Dvorak: pastor, therapist, clinical director and church planter. Considering “Night of Joy” vs. “MTV Spring Break.” Phil discusses his journey to and from alcoholism. The importance of community, coming clean, and mentorship. The story of how recovery and Christ were integrated to start Recovery Church about 12 years ago.

Links:  
Recovery Church Movement
Phil Dvorak

Sponsor:
...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron are in the ionosphere speculating.

Q from A:   How much detail is appropriate to disclose to your spouse?

Our Guest: Adam Young: author, therapist, speaker and podcaster. Adam talks about writing his upcoming book: Your Life Makes Sense. When we are not connected emotionally, interpersonally, and emotionally, we isolate, our brain fragments, and we tend to do whatever it takes to get peace in our bodies, frequently in addiction. Discussing attunement, and parents who don’t respond to their child’s emotions, orphaning them. Healing (recovery) includes grieving and feelin...

On this episode: Aaron is back with updates. Aaron introduces his new jingle.

Questions from Albuquerque:  I'm lying in bed and can't sleep and I know that acting out will "fix" the problem.  What do I do?

Our Guest: Jason Mathew: founder of Lead Me Not accountability software. Jason shares his story of porn, fantasy, and dating apps and his need for digital-wellness. The app tracks trends, sends alerts, syncs with calendars, promotes reflection, and introspection. It focuses on high levels of security for the user and partners while helping to maintain boundaries on Androids an...

On this episode: Nate and guest host Chris Inman talk about kids leaving the house and becoming P.O.R.K.

Our Guest: Laura Connell: author and trauma informed coach. Laura discusses how adverse childhood experiences (A.C.E. test) affect life expectancy and how to get those years back. She talks about how self-sabotage relates to childhood trauma. How willpower is not enough to stop self-sabotage from trauma. Other topics include reparenting and self-parenting, not being the victim while acknowledging the players in your story, and how to discover your identity while in healing and recovery.<...

On this episode: Nate and guest host Tom Moucka discuss the difference between a therapist, coach, and Silas.

Our Guest: Mari Lee: author, speaker, therapist, CSAT, trained in Gottman, betrayal trauma, complex trauma, sexual addiction and recovery, EMDR, and mindfulness based therapy. Mari discusses how her pain became her passion. We don’t have to live in the past, but the past lives in us. She explains the importance of disclosure in creating trust when working with couples and individuals. For some, the clinical relationship may be the first relationship where there is healthy attachment in an in...

On this episode: Nate and guest host Chris Inman discuss the awesomeness of Rob Chenoweth, retreats and new podcasts.

Our Guest: Dr. Michael Barta: author, psychologist, therapist, CSAT, and 12-stepper. Michael discusses how to treat “what’s causing the rash” -- going deeper beyond the symptoms. Digging into the intimacy disorder, learning to co-regulate in community. The lack of stability, emotional security and mental safety that leads to the inability to regulate. An environment where mistakes are ok and not punished creates authenticity. Michael also discusses how the external trauma becomes about us.

Links:  
Dr. Mich...

On this episode: Nate and guest host Chris Inman update everyone on Aaron and Erin

Our Guest: Michelle Mays: author, counselor and innovator. Michelle guides couples through healing and recovery from betrayal. Helping couples understand betrayal through attachment. She reminds us of the four attachment styles and how they affect both partners before and during recovery. Michelle also defines the three core injuries that happen to the betrayed partner.

Contact and Book:
Michelle Mays

Guest Host:
Chris Inman - Porn Free Masculinity, We Got Balls, The Mirror

Upcoming events:<...

On this episode: Aaron and guest-host/guest Nate Geyer discuss everything from Birkenstocks to stocks.

Our Guest: Nate Geyer works for Begin Again Institute as an LPC and CSATC. He comes from a background of education as well as lots of personal experience. Nate shares his journey of therapy and story work to find healing and recovery. He discusses how he started at four years old and felt like just scenery in his own house. Sharing feelings of guilt while having done nothing wrong. Also sharing his successes as he finds healing in connection and intimacy.

On this episode: Aaron and guest host Rob discuss Soul Architecture and how it works. Nate is still on a cruise.

Our Guest: Kervins Clement: therapist CSAT, PHD candidate, husband, former sex addict. Kervins shares how growing up as a black Haitian immigrant impacted his addiction and recovery. Embracing ADHD and dyslexia, athletics, Young Life, community, crime, and sharing secrets. Identifying your struggle to learn to fight like hell. The importance of understanding your family and sharing your story with your kids. Kervins stresses the importance of community and letting others into your story as part of...

On this episode: Aaron and guest host Rob discuss breaking down walls and curiosity about others’ stories. Nate is on a cruise.

Our Guest: Jonathan Merritt is an author, journalist, coach, and speaker. Learning to understand how news and opinion differ and how they change the reader. Embracing and investigating fear. Not allowing fear to tear us apart, especially when considering fear and faith. Are you covering fear with joy? Learning to investigate the stories of fear in your life as you grow. Jonathan guides us through engaging in healthy discussion and debate. Seek first to understand, th...

On this episode: Aaron with an A and Erin with an E host while Nate is in Alaska.

Our Guest: Mary Archibeque - addiction therapist and CSAT. Recovered drug addict turned drug addiction therapist, then gambling addiction therapist, and finally sex addiction therapist. Connecting to others through vulnerability and authenticity; no one cares what you know if they don’t know you care. You can’t care or work harder than the person you are helping. Intensity is a version of false intimacy or trauma bonding. Intimacy should be peaceful. Ask questions to determine if you replaced an a...

On this episode: Nate fixes wiring. Aaron is stranded at home. They discuss emotions in the church and the shortcomings of online friends.

Our Guest: Stephen McWhirter - musician, minister, husband, and father. Stephen shares his story of being a preacher's kid and recovered drug addict. Your story [of healing] matters. Jesus didn’t heal people the same way twice. Jesus is real, despite your experiences. Stories of redemption. Everyone has emotions. Everything is trying to emotionally manipulate you. What are you going to tune into?

Links:
Stephen McWhirter

Books:
The Cas...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron don’t have time for buffoonery.

Our Guest: Zachary Wagner, an American in England, writer, researcher, and ordained minister. We look at how was Jesus’ masculinity shaped the narratives of the church. Understanding myths about the need for sex. Replacing the purity paradigm with learning. Turning immature image of sex into mature understanding. Discussing sexual abuse crisis in culture and the church. Reflecting on how Jesus had intimate, nonsexual, relationships with both males and females.

Links:
Book: Non-Toxic Masculinity, Contact: Zachary Wagner

Sponsor:

Lifeworks Counsel...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron are back from England. Aaron has realizations and understands his feet. And a mysterious guest host is on the show.

Our Guest: Cathy Loerzel:, author, coach, speaker, wife, and mother. Cathy, Co-founder of the Allender Center, talks about her next steps in life. Discussing loyalty and false loyalty: staying due to fear of being alone. Francis Weller’s premise of grief: “everything you love will die”. Growing when there wasn’t a plan B, while honoring and grieving your past. God calls us to spiritual and emotional maturity. Finding community with other sur...

On this episode: Aaron has end of high school anxiety. Nate is old enough to have a grandchild graduating college.

Our Guest: Dr. Craig Cashwell is a professor at William and Mary College and trauma counselor. Competent and ethical integration of spirituality into the counseling process. Understanding spiritual bypass. What you resist, persists. Discussing “need shame” and toxic positivity. Underneath anger is fear. Undoing gender stereotypes. You can’t be real with a partner if you aren’t real with self. “We are all on the hot mess express!” Once you are real, you can’t be ugly except to...

On this episode: Aaron paints a challenging image of himself. Nate engineers again. Both discuss medicating with work.

Our Guest: Ron Williams: a pirate monk and coach shares his story that landed him in prison; the healing and hope that resulted; how his experiences have helped himself and other men grow; helping churches with their internal policies related to sex offenders.

Links:
Ron's coaching site, Ron's email

2023 Samson Annual Retreat

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions fo...

On this episode: Aaron unfriends on facebook. Nate listens to a new book.

Our Guest: Blaine Hogan: actor, director, author, husband, and father. You know you have succeeded as a parent, if your kids go to therapy for different reasons than you did. You can’t understand where you are going, if you don’t know where you have been. Free people free people! Composing your future is much like composing a song. Understanding your past, future, and present using narrative therapy. Renewing of the mind, seeing through a new filter. Your stains becoming your greatest strengths. Your...

On this episode: Aaron markets the virtues of living in a sauna and learns about FOMO. Nate reads 6 books on an Alaskan cruise.

Our Guest: Sam Black: a pirate monk, meeting host, author, journalist, and reporter. Sam educates pastors and church leaders on understanding pornography addiction, how it happens, early exposure, trauma and drama, and the volume of males and females consuming. How sharing your story opens the door to others opening up and sharing their stories. Explaining how Covenant Eyes uses AI to increase effectiveness and accountability reporting.

Links:
churchsupport@covenanteyes.com
...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron have a boring intro. Discussing cutting the grass and weather.

Our Guest: Pascale Wright: facilitator, clinical and pastoral counselor. Giving an event a safe space. Where was God? Communing over shared suffering, we must have community to heal. It is important to go back and address “stuckness,” even if there is no major traumatic event. Forgive yourself first, to forgive others more deeply.

Links:
marriage intensives and contact info

2023 Samson Annual Retreat

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys t...

On this episode: Aaron is excited and gets to shop. Nate will pop in.

Our Guest: John Eldredge: author, counselor, minister, husband, and father.

Be cautious of the cascade effects of trauma. How to practice benevolent detachment and release. You can have freedom or control, control kills. Anxiety and depression rise in direct correlation to the use of social media and news. Be intentional!

Links:
Wild at Heart, Books, podcast, App

2023 Samson Annual Retreat

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to ad...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron provide updates and ask for help on “the redneck frat house” (The Harbor).

Our Guest: Russ Johnson: former pastor, consultant, podcaster, author, husband, and father. Sharing the good news. If it can be quantified, it can be faked. “You are held by a love that will never let you go!” Allowing those you minister to determine the direction they need to go. The problem is never in the mirror, it's the “thems”.

Links:
Contact, Podcast, Call, etc.

2023 Samson Annual Retreat

If you have thoughts...

On this episode: Nate - McCreary’s Pub is stalking him. Aaron - own your own share.

Our Guest: Paula Jauch, speaker, podcaster, trauma overcomer, survivor, author, wife, and mom. Overcoming with 2 addicted parents, eating disorder, addiction, gangs, and more. “Trauma is the greatest mission field of the 21st century, but the most misunderstood.” “Water seeks its own level."  "Your picker is broken.” 

Links:  Website, Contact, Podcast, Book

2023 Samson Annual Retreat

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions fo...

On this episode: Nate and Aaron discuss the first ever event at the Harbor House.

Our Guest: Cathy Loerzel: Co-founder of the Allender Center, author, urban farmer, coach, speaker, wife, mother. “Every single person causes harm, every single person causes delight.” Continue learning despite what degree you do or don’t have. Moving from danger to beauty.

Links:  Contact, Coaching, Speaking, etc.
Books: Redeeming Heartache, Brain Talk

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please d...

On this episode:  Nate and Aaron reach into their sack and pull something out, answering mail.

Our Guest: John Pulley, consultant. Vengeance is easier than grace. “I touched my wiener, so God can no longer love me.” The church has an honesty problem. “How’s your heart doing?” Learning to open up in a safe and healthy environment. There are consequences for your actions, even under grace.

Links:  John Pulley

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests...

On this episode: Nate continues to have low quality internet. Aaron discourages WEeing on each other.

Our Guest: Jarrett Samuels, minister, podcaster, husband, father, friend. What is a man? All men are insecure and emotional. Becoming who God created us to be. Your presence matters. Taking Responsibility. Community not innovation.

Links:  Contact, Podcast, Events, Tribe, Etc.

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podca...

On this episode: Nate enjoys Amelia Island with his grandkids.
Aaron has an indefinite future.

Our Guest: Mo Isom is an athlete, author, speaker, home coming queen, and LSU grad. She discusses growing up in a home with a sex addict. Childhood exposure to p*rn that started a 10 year addiction. How much can I get away with and not go to hell?. Healthy Sexual Conversation for Women and Families.

Links: Books, contact, speaking, other resources

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to addr...

On this episode: Nate inquires about Aaron’s home repair updates. Aaron preaches about fake fruit.

Our Guest: Jason George: minister, podcaster, life coach, husband, and dad. Jason shares his story of growing up in a broken family including abuse, being raised by siblings, early p*rn exposure and addiction. He also discusses being kinda Christian. Even believers can fall back into sin. Healing takes community. Learning good healthy pleasure and replacement. It's important to replace, not just stop doing an unhealthy thing. I’m one step away from stupid.

Links:
The Griz Podcast, Narrow...

On this episode:

Nate confesses his love for WhataBurger, and Aaron fills his jugs at his neighbors house.

Our Guest: Joe Ryan. Podcaster, coach, Italian and Irish, New Yorker, former bartender and comedian. Sober from drugs and alcohol. Joe hosts a podcast: Its Not You, Its Your Trauma. Owning your actions and apologizing. Having Compassion for yourself.

Links:
Joe Ryan: Podcast, Youtube, Instagram, Contact, Coaching
Book: The Body Keeps the Score

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or...

On this episode: Aaron is getting his home repaired.

Nate holds Aaron accountable for going to England on The Path Retreat.

Nate invites you to go on the Path Retreat too (deadline for signup Mar 31, 2023).

Our Guest: Brody Holloway, co-founder and lead pastor of Snowbird Wilderness Outfitters in Andrews, NC. Adrenaline and fear break down walls. Shared experiences are critical for leading and investing in others. Sin management versus holiness. To live in Jesus is to live in the purity effect.

Links: Snowbird Outfitters
Book: Life Together by: Dietrich Bonhoeffer
...

On this episode: Nate is home, energized, and has internet. Aaron announces all the announcements.

Our Guest: Wendell Moss: therapist, minister, educator, and speaker. There is not always a side to take - just listen. Sometimes the response to abuse is more abusive than the abuse itself. My feast will never fulfill you.

Upcoming Events:
48 hours of Frankness (Illinois), Walking The Path in England (June 11-17, 2023)

Links:
Wendell at the Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, Wendell at the Allender Center

If you have thoughts or questions th...

On this episode:

Aaron and Justin answer a listener's letter and offer support. Nate has junk internet in Florida.

***Silas training April 15, 2023. Look for more info soon.***

Our Guest: Robert Bruce Angle III, president & CEO, counselor, minister, achiever, striver, @$$hole, type A and enneagram 8. Former director and expert of small groups.

We commonly experience love to the degree we can trust. Love: giving and receiving of needs being met. What love does: sees, soothes, is safe, is secure. Protecting weaknesses and supporting strengths. Relationship with God is not about doing. I a...

On this episode: Aaron tells an embarrassing story of his maturity. Justin takes his kids to the park.

Our Guest: Duane Osterlind, therapist, podcaster, and husband. Duane brings many years of personal and professional experience to the addiction recovery community. When listening to others, the reply is never: “its worse for someone else”. Compassion for the human. We heal through the eyes of others; we need others to see us and lets us know its ok. You can be confused and have hope. The world needs the compassionate and the @$$holes.

Links: Contact and podcast

On this episode:

Nate and Aaron discuss the truths behind the 1985 book: Amusing Ourselves to Death.

Our guest: Sathiya Sam, coach, author, podcaster, preacher’s kid.

“If you are unaware, you cannot repair.”

There’s no faith without unbelief. Knowledge is potential; knowledge with action is where real power comes from. He who is most vulnerable, heals the quickest. Learning to articulate your inner life. Prevention: confess a temptation before needing to confess a mistake. Community doesn’t bring change, it sustains it.

Links:
The Last Relapse Book
Unleash...

On this episode:

Our THREE hosts: Erin, Nate, and Aaron.

Erin takes a break from a road trip.

Nate has a prophecy.

Aaron gets butt dials.

Our guest: Jean Masukevich, mom, yogi, spiritual director, trauma informed.

Topics: Enjoy a guided relaxation exercise and meditation. Learning to connect the body to the mind. Listening to your body and responding with love.

“What are you running from, and what are you running toward?”

Links:
Sow That, email

If you have though...

On this episode:  Nate and Aaron discuss God’s will.

Our Guest: Michael Basta, clinical social worker, certified Gottman method couples' therapist. Michael conveys hope for relationships, using science. History can predict the future of the relationship, but it is not set in stone. We can change the future, despite past wounds and trauma. The Four Horseman of the apocalypse, and the nine factors of relationship success. Forming a culture of appreciation.

Links:
Michael Basta
The Gottman Institute
Books:
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
What Makes Love Last?

On this episode: McCreary’s follows Nate around. Aaron watches Hallmark movies.

Our guest: Dr. Quincee Gideon, clinical psychologist.

Topics discussed: Loading the language: creating language inside a group that separates and excludes. Being safe within yourself. Religious trauma, denial of human experience. Stepping into a larger life that isn’t filtered, or second guessed, is grander, is at peace, and is safer. Feeling generally safe within your body, relationships, and environment. Sharing specifics with the correct audience.

Contact info: https://www.quinceegideon.com/, tiktok, instagram

If you have thoughts...

On this episode:

Nate prepared for the greatest thanksgiving dinner of his life. Aaron loses 12 pounds.

Our Guest: Marnie C. Ferree, recovering addict, director of Bethesda Workshop, therapist (CSAT, IITAP).

Topics include: Reframing hope. Expertise, in helping others, from experience. It's never a bad thing to re-up with God. “Despite all the pain, anger, grief, I’m living my best life.” The importance of support systems. Women in sexual recovery (too).

Bethesda Workshops, resources, and contact: Marnie C. Ferree

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like th...

On this episode:  

Nate has a full house.  Aaron shares expertise on Autobots and Decepticons.

Our Guest: Dr. Juli Slattery, clinical psychologist, mom, wife, author, follower of Christ.  God puts the resources in place when we follow His calling. God has given husbands and wives unique areas of power, and they are based on needs and desires. None of this is control, it is power; Influence, not control. The zone of power is understanding your spouse's needs. Hardness of heart will kill marriage and relationship with the Lord. The 4 pillars of a healthy marriage: faithfulness, inti...

On this episode:

Nate and Aaron talk about their favorite kitchen gadgets and go-to meals.

Our Guest: Author, Relationship Counselor, Speaker, Teacher

Topics include: Listening is loving, hearing vs. listening, Emotional safety, evaluating trust. Listening: creating intimacy in a relationship. Learning what emotional intimacy looks like. What does it feel like to be connected? Intimacy specifics for males and females. Reflecting on what you are saying no to when you say yes to something else.

Books:
Emotional Safety: Honoring Yourself While Creating Trust and Presence to Experience Meaningful Relationships
40 F...

On this episode:

Nate cleans before the house cleaner arrives.

Aaron knew a fella.

Our Guest: Andrew Susskind, clinical social worker, therapist, author, podcaster, and blogger.

Discussion includes: not just sobriety, finding life. Reclaiming childhood longings. “Social media is basically lite porn,” or other ways we escape. Sexual blueprint, sexual health and sexual discussion. More connection and less shame. The masculinity of yearning.

Book: Its Not About the Sex: Moving from Isolation to Intimacy after Sexual Addiction

Andrew Susskind’s: contact, podcast, blog, practice.

If you...

On this episode:

Nate is concerned about getting his @ss kicked.

Aaron draws conclusions with Disney’s Pocahontas.

Encouraged by the relapses of the saints. When and what qualifies you in ministry with returning guest Tullian Tchividjian.

“If we aren’t attracting the same people as Jesus attracted, we aren’t preaching the same message Jesus preached.”

The Sanctuary Church, Jupiter, FL
Fallen and Free Conference Feb. 17-19, 2023

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggesti...

On this episode:

Aaron interrogates Nate.

Nate sings a very heartfelt song.

The guys talk to guest Andrew Bauman, speaker, therapist, writer, and author.

“The owning of your *ssholeness doesn’t lead to toxic shame. It leads to humility not humiliation.”

How to define narcissism. Addressing couples work AFTER a lengthy period of sobriety.

Andrew J. Bauman
Book: How Not to Be an *ss: Essays on Becoming a Good & Safe Man
Film: A Brave Lament
Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma

On this episode:

Nate feels gratitude.

Aaron remembers a super cool smoking trick learned during Shakespearean acting classes.

The guys have a deep discussion with George Bitar about healthy couples' communication despite traumatic backgrounds. Learning to discuss disconnection cues and trigger moments in emotionally focused couples therapy work. How to repair and reconnect. Feeling delight and joy in the relationship. Tapping into emotions to point to our needs and values. Providing hope for healing and growth emotionally.

https://connectcouplestherapy.com/

Books:
Hold Me Tight
The Seven Principles...

On this episode:

Aaron caps that.

Nate shops Amazon.

The guys interview Chris Bruno, counselor and author of Sage: A Man's Guide into His Second Passage and Man Maker Project: Boys are Born. Men are Made. Nate shares his experiences from the Italian Samson retreat.

“The task of the second passage, is to find the boy within the man, and bring him home.”

“When we are hijacked in this phallic state, we are not looking for sex, we are looking for connection.”

“The more we dissociate, the more it’s a f...

Q&A

"Porn is like the junk food of healthy sex and relationships."

Aaron and Rob interview Ian Henderson, founder of the Naked Truth Project. about how he got involved in this work of opening eyes and freeing lives from the damages of porn. While Naked Truth is based in Manchester, UK, they work with people all over the world.  The "open eyes" aspect focuses on education to combat the normalization of porn by presenting in schools and elsewhere to raise awareness of the dangers of porn.  The "freeing lives" portion focuses on those who have already been trapped in...

Nate and Aaron interview Andrea Ashley, host of the Adult Child podcast, about the trauma of growing up in a dysfunctional alcoholic family, the maladaptive coping mechanisms she chose, such as alcohol and unhealthy dating relationships, and her path to recovery. 

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samso...

Nate and Aaron interview Juris S, author of Happy, Joyous and Free: One Man's Journey and Guide to Ultimate Spiritual Health.  Topics include: bullying, alcoholism, and integration of faith and recovery.

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have b...

"I want to empower my partner to show up freely, not disempower her by withholding data that might affect the choices she makes and how she shows up."

"If you don't have a shared understanding of the past, you cannot have a shared trajectory for the future."

"The human brain is wired so that even a perceived threat to a primary attachment relationship registers as a survival issue."

We welcome Jake Porter of Daring Ventures to the show.  Topics include: secondary addictions, couple-centered recovery, the importance of attachment, and power imbalance in the r...

We welcome back a great friend of the show, Michael Cusick to talk about trauma, whether addiction exists, and attachment in all areas of life.  You can also check out more about Michael's Restoring The Soul Weekend Intensive.

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for th...

"You cannot become masculine until it's given to you."

Aaron and Justin have a fun conversation with Roe Hunter, therapist and son of previous guest, Roane Hunter (Episode 330).  We get to hear the other side of the story as they discuss topics like forgiveness and repair, family recovery, the critical nature of brotherhood, and the transition to manhood.  (Note: the episode that Aaron referenced with Scott Dente is actually Episode 115.)

For more on Roe's practice, visit https://lifeworks.ms/roe-hunter-lpc-csat

To sign up for the Virtual Samson Retreat on Dec 8-9, 2022, please visit ht...

Nate and Aaron have a fascinating conversation on topics of Story, Attachment, and Attunement with Adam Young, therapist and host of "The Place We Find Ourselves" podcast.

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our c...

"We have this work to do with God around our stories, around our hurt and our pain...Every person is in the pain management business whether they know it or not...If I don't have a relationship and walk with God where I can process that hurt and pain in a healthy way - an appropriate, truthful, redemptive, kingdom way - then I process my pain in unhealthy ways...We learned to use sex as a primary pain management tool of our life...using sex to seek emotional equilibrium."

Nate and Aaron drop some big news about...

"We want to Re-Solution people with Biblically-based, research-informed answers to their  hurts and struggles."

The guys open the show with a great discussion about the importance of knowing and sharing our stories in community. Then guest Ben Bennett shares his story of faith, multiple addictions and the solutions that he has found.  You can learn more about Ben and his ministry at resolutionmovement.org.

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

"We're shoving more knowledge into our heads and we're becoming more and more stupid. There's just no inner wisdom."

Nate, Chris and Aaron have a great visit with guest Eli Machen, one of the pioneers in sex addiction recovery, as they discuss sobriety and its role in recovery, understanding the truths we already know, and how to rebuild trust in relationship.

You can access Eli's videos on the Show Up 365 channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Showup365.

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to a...

"I don't know of a more discombobulating, imprisoning power on the earth than shame. To me, shame is personalized demonization."

"Here's the good news: When you really get the proper diagnosis, Grace becomes all the sweeter. You're never going to shock the Father. You may know 4% of your sin - He's taken on the other 96% as well."

We've got another Pirate Monk roundtable with Nate, Chris, Rob and Justin on the topic of emotional triggers, followed by an interview with a man who played a key role in the founding of the Samson Society...

We start the episode with a Pirate Monk roundtable with Nate, Chris, Rob and Justin going deep quickly using a couple of probing questions.

Then Nate interviews singer/songwriter Jason Gray about his story of vulnerability through his speech handicap, divorce, and the importance of our language.  Stay tuned at the end as Jason shares a couple of challenging songs with us.  Jason joined us in person at the Annual Retreat in Eva TN in November 2022.  You can share in that experience by attending the Virtual Samson Retreat.

To sign up for the Virtual Samson Ret...

"The antidote for shame is chronic exposure to love and acceptance." 

"I get under emotional distress and I want to go back to the maladaptive coping behavior that I learned early on that works for me. And it's the emotional distress and the emotional dysregulation that we've got to begin to work with." - Roane Hunter

Nate and Aaron speak with Roane Hunter, CSAT and co-author of Sex, God & the Chaos of Betrayal about a range of topics, including Roane's preferred term for addiction: "distress reduction behavior".  Roane, along with his wife Eva and son Ro...

"You can say, 'I look at porn 20 times a day', but that is inconsequential to me...The big question is 'Why?'"

"You better damn well trust that therapist that you're sitting across from...You've got to feel safe to investigate shame."

"In the context of relationships, we're all responsible to get our own needs met. That doesn't mean we go meet our own needs - we've seen how destructive that can be - but we do have to learn how to ask for those needs to be met."

Kaka Ray returns to...

Nate is away, so Aaron spends an hour with Burlap to Cashmere's Steven Delopoulos talking about his story growing up in NY and NJ in a very Greek family, the nature of God, songwriting, storytelling, and his latest passion project related to Simon & Garfunkel.  For more about Steven, visit his website.

If you have thoughts or questions that you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For...

In today's episode, Eddie Capparucci returns to talk with Nate about his most recent book, Why Men Struggle to Love. They discuss some of the relational blindspots that many men have in making connection. For more on Dr. Capparucci, please visit Abundant Life Counseling-Coaching.

If you have feedback for the podcast, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by o...

“Open men's hearts, heal the pain, and change the world.”

In a world filled with talk of toxic masculinity, author and speaker Dan Griffin (dangriffin.com) talks to the guys today about what he calls "Conscious Masculinity" - where men make enlightened choices to pursue what it means to truly connect with the full spectrum of what it means to be a man.

If you have feedback for the podcast, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For mor...

"There aren't a lot of safe places in our world.  There aren't a lot of places where people can come and say whatever they want to say and be loved." - Chris Inman

In this episode, Aaron catches up with recovery coach Chris Inman to explore the benefits of doing the work to discover our own story and share it with safe people.  Chris shares how he has experienced the importance of uncovering his own story and is now committed to helping others discover it for themselves. If you'd like to talk with Chris further, you can re...

Today, we talk with Daniel Wiens, who has been the key person driving the growth of Samson Society in Italy about his story before getting into details of the International Samson Retreat October 7-9, 2022 in central Italy. 

If you have feedback for the podcast, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sara...

"When you confess your sin, you're not going to get stoned to death."

Building on our recent discussions with churches that really get recovery, today we talk with John Elmore about the re:generation recovery ministry which began at Watermark Community Church in Dallas TX.

If you have feedback for the podcast, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives...

The statute of limitations has finally expired, so it's time for another crossover episode of Pirate Monk/Porn Free Radio!  Trying to write a summary of this discussion is an exercise in futility as the guys traverse lots of trails, including book writing, Matt's new book (Porn Free, Becoming the Type of Man Who Does Not Look at Porn) and skateboard life.  For more info on Matt, please visit recoveredman.com.

If you have feedback for the podcast, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by me...

"I love you right where you are...and I don't expect anything. I love you, and I won't quit."

"You'll know you've heard the Gospel if one of your first responses is: 'That's too good to be true and I can't believe it yet.'" - Dudley Hall

"It was easier for me to believe it for my son than to believe it for myself." - Nate Larkin

"If...I open the Bible and find condemnation, then I'm still filtering Scripture through the branches of the bush I'm hiding behind in Eden, avoiding...

"My story isn't my story without the brokenness of who I am."

"It is only in their knowledge of the depth of my need of Jesus that gives them the confidence that I could be a help to them in describing a Jesus that could save them." - Timo Strawbridge

In Episode 315, Nate spoke about a man that he had yet to meet - Timo Strawbridge.  If you haven't listened to that episode yet, you might want to give it a listen first.  In this episode, Nate and Aaron finally get to connect with Timo an...

Nate will be speaking at First Presbyterian in Augusta GA this Saturday.  You can hear Nate and enjoy a Wild Game Dinner for the low, low price of $7.50.  Register at the following link.

Register Here

Our guest today has turned her own story of personal brokenness into her passion for ministry.  Victoria Robinson chose abortion many years ago and today leads others -- both men and women -- toward post-abortive healing.  If you or someone you know is carrying this burden, more information is available at reassemblelife.com.  

If you have feedback for the podcast, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please vi...

"We set out to create a safe church -- not just pockets of safety within the church." - James Reeves

This conversation makes me want to move to DFW so that I can attend this church!  Nate and Aaron talk with Pastor James Reeves about his church, City on a Hill in Fort Worth TX, and how it was intentionally created as a safe place for Christians to be real - kind of like Samson Society!  He also discusses the Fearless Series for Women, a 5-session video series designed to be a tool for Christian women to ge...

If you have feedback for the podcast, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The...

Registration for this weekend's virtual retreat (January 14-15, 2022) is available at https://samsonhouse.regfox.com/samson-society-virtual-retreat-2022

Our guest for this episode is long-time friend of the program T.C. (Tom) Ryan.  For more information about Tom and his ministry, please visit https://www.livingintegrated.org/   Tom's book, Ashamed No More, is available here.

You can find out more about the 14-day intensive program that Tom mentioned at https://boulderrecovery.com/

If you have feedback for the podcast, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contr...

Today, we share Nate's closing chapel message from the 2021 National Samson Retreat.  This is a  challenging must-hear for everyone in recovery.  

If you have feedback for the podcast, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com.

To wrap-up the 2021 Annual Samson Retreat in Eva TN, Aaron sits down with our keynote speaker, Jim Cress, and takes questions from the audience of attendees.  Find out more about Jim at jimcress.com.

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com.

Today we interview Michael Feighan, formerly of Whitecross to talk about his formative years in music, the adoption of his daughter, working through depression and anxiety, and how all of these things contributed to his newly-released solo album, Someone Prayed.

Michael graciously provided the music on this episode.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com.

In this episode, the guys discuss the subject of Narcissism, especially as it relates to groups, with Jeromy Deibler.  Jeromy is a musician, certified Enneagram and life coach, and pastor. His goal is to help people build connections with others and with God and to show others what God is like.  

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com.

"While I don't want to advocate for indulging the urges, I want to champion the deeper desires and the longings and the aches that are behind those urges.  With whatever type of porn you might find attractive or arousing, or whatever has been your particular version of it, underneath that is a good and holy beauty and strength that comes from God, and if we can tap into that, then we can bless it and we can express it in healthy ways and we can actually get what we were created for this whole time."

Nate interviews D...

"It is so much better to have sex with your wife for who she is -- having sex because you love her, not having sex because you love sex."

Nate and Aaron interview friend and returning guest, Noah Filipiak, about the release of his new book - Beyond the Battle: A man’s guide to his identity in Christ in an over-sexualized world.

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

In this special episode, Nate and Aaron remember Father Thomas McKenzie,  an early member of the Samson Society in the Nashville area, who was killed along with his older daughter in a car accident a few days ago (Aug 23, 2021).  They share some of their memories of Thomas, and then we hear from Fr. McKenzie himself in two homilies - first, his final message from this past Sunday, and then a 2014 message on grieving.

"He was never put on this earth to heal me -- the only one who was put on this earth to heal me is Jesus."

Nate speaks with Lyschel Burket of hoperedefined.org., a ministry supporting women impacted by sexual betrayal through coaching, groups, intensive retreats and safe online community.  Her contact email is support@hoperedefined.org.

Then, a group of ladies from the Sarah Society join Nate to discuss what they gleaned from the interview.  We hear from Erin, Heather, Brandy, Linda and Julie.  For more information about the Sarah Society, please visit sarahsociety.com...

Aaron is back - and this time, he's pissed!  OK, not really, but it's great to have the compadres back together again for a discussion of the journey into manhood.  Nate interviews Aaron's buddy, Jim Ramos, author of Strong Men, Dangerous Times and host of the Men in the Arena podcast (meninthearena.org).  They break down the Five Essentials Every Man Must Possess to Change His World.

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Mini-meeting on the topic of "Surrender".

Nate interviews Jasper Hall, president of Pure Hope about equipping believers to serve out of their brokenness in a sexually broken world and leading their families and communities to flourish.  You can find more information at purehope.net.

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Mini-meeting on the topic of "Habits".

Nate interviews psychologist and therapist Bill and Kristi Gaultiere about the six phases of spiritual growth and development.  You can find more information at soulshepherding.org and journeyofthesoul.org.

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Aaron has a fascinating conversation with John Alarid (johnalarid.com), a heroin addict who became a missionary, then imprisoned for attempted murder, and now a pastor ministering in Springfield MO at Freedom City Church (freedomcitychurch.org).  To hear more of John's story, you can get his ebook (currently free) at myprisonbecameapalace.com.

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

"Dignity believes, and respect believes, and unconditional positive regard believes that being fully human is a beautiful thing, and that the essence of a person agrees with all of the things that God says about them that's true."

The Mini-Meeting returns on the topic of Abandonment.

Then Aaron interviews Teresa McBean, who pastors Northstar Community, which blends recovery and faith in Richmond VA.  Northstar was founded in 1999 to provide faith-based recovery and now offers adult education classes, support groups, individual and group counseling experiences, Enneagram training and coaching, and individual and group coaching to family m...

"I honestly cannot tell you which decade was worse...Brokenness doesn't just end the second [the abuse] stops...The ramifications of that act ripple into decades later."

Nate sits down to speak with Tim Rountree - a child abuse detective, a pastor, and a victim himself of childhood sexual abuse.  He explores how hope emerges even in the wake of unspeakable evil.  (outcryconcepts.com)

Resources for online safety:

bark.us

covenanteyes.com

x3watch.com

leadmenot.org

The music on this podcast is con...

Nate interviews Gary Wilkerson of World Challenge (an outgrowth of Teen Challenge), a ministry dedicated to helping the needy of the world in many different ways, including those caught in addiction and poverty. Topics include the pitfalls of performance-based religion, family history, parenting, and the importance of community. 

https://worldchallenge.org/

https://teenchallengeusa.org/

https://www.globaltc.org/

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

"I don't think that God's goal in the universe is to lessen the amount of sin.  I think His primary goal is to increase the amount of connection between Him and His people."

Today's guest is therapist Matt Wenger, who works with guys dealing with porn and sex addiction.  In the course of that work, he recognized that Christian men have unique challenges in their journey to healing from this addiction.  The result of that was the development of Boulder Recovery, which offers a new 14-Day Men's Intensive for Christian guys struggling with porn and sex addiction.  Dr...

Nate gives Aaron a PSA about severe weather before they are joined by Nate's long-time friend, Steve Zehr, who shares how he was shaped by his 35-year marriage to Susan, who struggled with mental illness. Steve's book is titled In Sickness and in Health and he can be reached at sd.zehr@gmail.com. 

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Nate has an inspiring conversation with his brother, Dan.  After a series of strokes, Dan was left unable to speak and was told by doctors that he would never speak again.  But Dan didn't accept that prognosis.  Through hard work and sheer determination, he discovered his own path for healing, proving the incredible resilience of the human brain.  The parallels with the recovery journey are evident. 

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

With our 300th episode right around the corner, the guys are requesting submission of questions (especially personal and embarrassing ones!), comments, memories and reflections of how the podcast has impacted you. Send your thoughts to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com and the fellas will share them on the show.

You can also record a short message at https://www.speakpipe.com/piratemonk that we might use on the show.

First, a discussion of Nate's blog about Ravi Zacharias (https://natelarkin.net/ravi-and-me/) and some feedback he has received.  Then, an interview with Bonny Burns - podcaster, coach and member of the leadership team for the Sarah Society - the sister organization which has grown out of a group of women impacted by the choices of Samson Society guys.  Topics include healthy sexual intimacy, Bonny's experience as a betrayed spouse going through D-Day, the continuing quest toward community and intimacy, building trust and empathy.

"Sex is neither the cause of this addiction or the cure."

"Sex...

How do we deal with the inevitable pain that comes into our life?  Nate gives an update on recent struggles with Allie's health before having a discussion with Seth Haines, who shares his own season of severe anxiety related to the health of his infant son, the even deeper pain of a seemingly absent God, and his subsequent slide into alcoholism in an attempt to numb the pain. 

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

The guys respond to a couple of notes from the mailbag before having a great discussion with Morgan Snyder (becomegoodsoil.com) about discovering the heart of Father as we discover our true sonship. Can we answer the questions - Where do I feel uncomfortable in the realm of masculinity? How do I recover ALL of what God wants for me? 

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

This is a refreshing discussion with theologian, author and professor  Brad Jersak that spans a myriad of subjects - from interactions with people of diverse viewpoints, love addiction vs. sex addiction, the purpose of confession and repentance, and what "the God of our understanding" and "progress not perfection" really mean. www.bradjersak.com

Featured song: "If Old is Grey" by Chad Land; used by permission (https://soundcloud.com/chad-land) 

Other music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com...

Have you ever made a promise to yourself to create a new habit but gave it up after only a few weeks?  How are those new year's resolutions holding up after a month?  Drew Dyck noticed this pattern in his own life and decided to do some study into both the scientific and biblical principles related to self-control.  Nate and Aaron have a great discussion with Drew about partnering with God and your community even in the small areas of our life.  You can find even more details in his book, Your Future Self Will Thank You.  (drewdyck.com)

In part two of our series on domestic abuse, we talk with "Becky", an abuse survivor.  Her story is one of pain, fear and redemption, but does point out how the Christian community can sometimes fall into the trap of excusing abusive behavior in the name of avoiding divorce.    Can every marriage be saved?  Should every marriage be saved?  Abuse should never be tolerated in the name of statistics.  The guys tackle this tough subject in light of the gospel in compassion, grace and love.

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Sams...

Before you immediately dismiss your need to listen to this episode, we'd challenge you to have an open mind. When we hear the words "domestic abuse", we often think of videos of athletes in elevators, but can we recognize more subtle forms of abuse? Use of Power to Control others through Fear or Intimidation is Abusive even if there are never any bruises or broken bones.

Join us as we begin a two-part series on this important topic.  We talk today with Chris Moles (chrismoles.org), a pastor and Biblical counselor who helps churches and families confront t...

Nate and Aaron speak with Randy Turner, author of Rescuing the Rogue, about mentoring, learning intimacy the hard way, what intimacy truly is and how to root out the false beliefs we have about intimacy. If you'd like to explore this topic further, you can reach Randy at rturner@transformingfamilies.org.

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Nate interviews Noah Filipiak, author of Beyond the Battle.  Noah is a pastor who talks openly about his struggle with porn, the journey from entitlement to contentment through recognizing the true needs beneath the behavior, and the real definition of love.  Noah also facilitates Beyond the Battle online 7-week zoom groups which focus on your identity in Christ in an oversexualized world.  For more information, visit beyondthebattle.net or noahfilipiak.com.

Nate and Aaron also discuss the importance of Gratitude for our overall physical and mental health.

The music on this podca...

Clinton and Charity Munoz of the Restored 2 More podcast share their winding path of addiction, discovery, missteps in finding help, and finally to the true redemptive help that they needed. They are now helping couples move from infidelity to intimacy.  Learn more at restored2more.com.

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society and also features the new song When You're Lying by Kristin Larkin.  You can find her music at kristinlarkin.bandcamp.com. 

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

In this follow-up to episode 280, Nate and Aaron talk with Brian Tholstrup, a fellow pirate monk whose primary drug of choice was alcohol.  The guys discuss how recovery is not "one-size-fits-all" and how each of us has to assess what is helpful in our own journey while avoiding the lure of the "easier, softer way".

Nate and Aaron also discuss how easy it is to get distracted by seemingly harmless pursuits, such as gaming.

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more inf...

Today Nate interviews Chad and Angela Anderson as they share the story of Chad's pornography addiction, D-Day and their continuing redemption. Chad is now a certified recovery coach sharing what he has learned with other men. 

Chad's contact info is: 727integratedlife.com; phone 615-405-6152; email chad@727integratedlife.com

Angela can be reached at angela@727integratedlife.com

The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.

For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.

Our guest today is Jack Eason, author of The Loneliness Connection, which explores the power of community and togetherness, finding similarities instead of differences in the midst of a divisive world.  Find out more about Jack and his work at https://www.jackeason.org/

Music on the podcast

Little Jam by Stefan Kartenberg (c) copyright 2020 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial  (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/JeffSpeed68/61299 Ft: Javolenus

Chronically Deranged (Autopsy Mix) by Whitewolf (c) copyright 2019 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommer...

Tullian shares his history as both the prodigal and the older brother, and now as someone who simply recognizes his desperate need for Jesus! 

To learn more about Tullian's work, please visit:

www.tullian.net

Today the guys talk with certified mentors Jay and Lori Pyatt who get raw and vulnerable in sharing their redemptive story about God pulling them back from the brink of divorce, the impact of shame and deflection in marital communication, their ongoing recovery walk, and how their journey led them to helping others avoid the pitfalls along these rocky paths.

Nate and Aaron again welcome one of our favorite guests, trauma specialist Kaka Ray, to discuss COVID fatigue, monopolizing conversations, and balance in recovery.  Kaka will also be returning as a workshop speaker at the upcoming Fall retreat - both the in-person and the virtual versions.  To learn more about her work, visit:

http://www.kakaray.com/

Nate and Aaron sit down to chat about a book that sent Nate on some interesting journeys and ongoing self-discovery, Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Drinking Alcohol.  You might not get any answers, but we sure hope today's episode raises a couple of questions.

Today, Nate and Aaron talk with Carolyn Weyel about introversion.  What does it mean?  How does shame get attached to it?  And how do those pesky extroverts make everything worse!!!  Whether you are an introvert or just happen to be living on the planet earth, there is something in this conversation for you.

Sit back and get ready for a conversation with Michael Brody-Waite, author of Great Leaders Live Like Drug Addicts, as he unpacks some of the most important information you might hear about masks during these strange times.  No...not those masks.  To learn more about Michael and stay posted on what he's up to, log on to:

https://michaelbrodywaite.com/

Get ready for a gospelicious conversation with John Lynch.  To hear more of John, head on over to his website and get encouraged.

https://www.johnlynchspeaks.com/

Nate and Aaron enjoy a great conversation with Michele and Tom Weaver as they explore their experience with "friends" who weren't helpful, betrayal, and hope.  Don't miss this inspiring journey of hope and healing and coming to the table.

Ever wondered what creole cooking, Presbyterians, and Elvis have in common?  Find out today as Nate and Aaron chat with Pastor Ray Cannata of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New Orleans.

Today Nate sits down with Dr. Curt Thompson, author of books such as The Anatomy of the Soul, and The Soul of Shame, and talks about the profound connection between our spiritual formation and amazing neurological creation.  It's all tied together and the answer to every question you've ever had, including this week's winning lottery numbers, will be revealed on today's episode of, the Pirate Monk Podcast.

To check out what Curt is up to or to learn more about his practice, head on over to...

https://curtthompsonmd.com/

Today Nate and Aaron sit down and chat with author, musician, theologian, Michael Card as he discusses his new book, Inexpressible: Hesed and the Mystery of God's Lovingkindness.  Nate and Aaron also discuss how you can serve other men as a temporary Silas as they plug into the online Samson community.  To get more information on that process, head over to...

https://samsonsociety.com/what-is-a-silas/

and click "Register as an available temporary Silas."  

Get out your pen and paper, Aaron is chatting with a couple of Samson OGs who are deep in the world of music and are passionate about art and how it feeds the soul.  You'll get their recommendations on listening choices and taking some purposeful time to let your heart be filled through the miracle of music.  All that and more on today's episode of the Pirate Monk Podcast.

It's deep, it's heavy, it's important.  Today the boys chat with Karen Ellison about the heart wounds that occur after an abortion for both women and men.  Karen works with the ministry Deeper Still and provides resources and free retreats to help people with tools to find healing for a pain that is often forced underground by our Christian culture.  To check out more information on Deeper Still, go to:

www.godeeperstill.org

Feeling fear during this strange time?  Checking the news for reassurance and only experiencing further fear?  Today Nate and Arron sit down with Christine Dente to try to unpack some solutions to engage information with better choices and more wisdom. Check out Christine's website Finding Life in the Bigger Story at https://christinedenteoutofthegrey.com 

Some of the proposed ideas to consider were:

The doctor is in.  Our Samson friend from the Bay area is checking in for a conversation about dealing with fear during this strange time in our world, as well as taking responsibility for our healing process from past hurts.

Pull up a chair and have a listen to Todd Wermers' inspiring story of hope, redemptions, and how God loves to show his glory through people in process.  To check out what's happening in Todd's ministry check him out at...

tinmanministries.org

Or email him at...

todd@tinman.life

On today's episode of the Pirate Monk Podcast, Nate and Aaron recruit OG Pirate Scott Dente to have a scintillating conversation with Christian Music Pioneer, Steve Taylor.  This one will make you think.  We'd love to hear your feedback on the episode, as well as your vote on the dance-off question found at the end of the show.  Write to us at, piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com

Here too are the lyrics that were discussed on the show from Steve's song, I Want to be a Clone.

Today Nate and Aaron get to have a chat with long-time buddy Mo Leverett as he talks about life post-Hurricane Katrina, his passion for a fine cigar, and his upcoming album Autumn Years.  Plus...just for you the faithful listeners, you'll get a sneak peek at two songs that will be on his new project.  It's all here, it's all now, only on the Pirate Monk Podcast.

On this episode, Nate and Aaron chat with Eddie Capparucci about how our past experiences shape our coping mechanisms and how to find hope and freedom through asking the "why" instead of just the "what."  All that and more, today on the Pirate Monk Podcast.

To check out what Eddie and his wife are up to, head on over to...

https://abundantlifecounselingga.com/

Today Nate has a chat with Pastor Vern Tompke about the dangers of isolation in the ministry and how true vulnerable community can serve both the pastors and the congregation.  Everyone is included in this conversation on the Pirate Monk Podcast.  If you want to check out Vern's podcast, Pastors on Porn, head on over to:

https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/pastors-on-porn-vern-tompke-AuMWGqJ_x1I/

Empathy.  Who gives a crap...  Today Nate has a conversation with Jason Martinkus about why we should, and how we can up our empathy IQs in our marriage.  Jason is also teaching an online master class if you want to jump in the deep end of this topic and learn some vital skills.  If you want to check it out take a mouse journey and click on -

Today Nate and Aaron prepare for the holidays, talk about exponential relational growth when trust is demanded, and explore the idea of expectations.

Today Nate talks about what being present means and Aaron sits down to have a chat with Jeff and Beth McCord, authors of Becoming Us.  Ever thought your spouse made no sense at all?  There's probably a reason, and Jeff and Beth are going to give you some options today.  To check out more of their ministry and resources, head on over to:

https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/

Today, Nate and Aaron hang out, answer a listener question with the help of Christine Leahy, and then chat with Aaron's son Samuel about what it was like to be on the kid side of the equation, growing up and navigating a world saturated with sex.

To check out the Braveful Summit Christine was talking about, head over to:

https://www.bravefulsummit.com/?ac=jl68jqHR

Ever heard of codependency?  Today Dr. Barbara Stephes shed some new light on the subject as she explores the topic with Nate and Aaron.  Also, Aaron apologizes to the city of Tustin.  As a more specific aspect of his apology, here are some words from a fellow Pirate Monk on the Subject. And thanks to Josh Manifold for picking some of the tunes the today's broadcast.

Today Nate and Aaron get Mondo back in the room, have a mini-meeting, and talk to Mondo's friend Ben about his journey into addiction and the path he found back to freedom.

Today Nate and Aaron are taking a slice of the weekend from Eva Tennessee to explore how we can integrate the Gospel into our lives and recovery, specifically and powerfully.  Nate opens up a vulnerable door so that the men can journey with him towards the love of his Abba.  All that is happening today, on the Pirate Monk Podcast.

Today Nate & Aaron chat with Nick Stumbo of Pure Desire ministries about Nick's story and how to understand the difference between arrival mentality and journey mentality in recovery, as we search for deeper maturity and more honest...honesty.

Check out the happenings at Pure Desire Ministries by clicking:

https://puredesire.org/

Pull up a chair, start up your lawnmower, or rev up your engine and take a ride with Nate and Aaron as they have a chat with Matt Dobber Dobschuetz, host of Porn Free Radio, on this episode of the Pirate Monk Podcast.

Check out more of what Matt is up to by clicking on:

https://recoveredman.com/

Music on Today's Podcast: Randy Dandy-O; Radio Nowhere (Bruce Springsteen); White City (Pogues); When I'm Gone (Anna Kendrick)

Today Nate and Aaron talk virtual meetings and follow up on some listener responses to last week's episode.  You get that and a MINI MEETING, and it all happens today, on the Pirate Monk Podcast.

Today's Music:

Dive - Steven Curtis Chapman; Another Day - Steven Delopoulos; Said the Son to the Shine - Earth Suit; Blue Train - John Coltrane

Today, Nate and Aaron sit down with trauma specialist Kaka Ray to learn about how trauma affects addiction and what we can do about it.  Kaka will be a workshop teacher at the upcoming retreat.  To learn more about what she's up to, check out,

http://www.kakaray.com/

Today, we've got it all! Unsolicited book reviews, witty banter, a mini-meeting, and the pièce de résistance, a conversation with BraveHearts Michael Leahy.  He'll be chatting about his exciting new thoughts on how to use technology to put connection, recovery and growth on a steroid regimen that won't get you a 30 game suspension.  We're talking about hacking the system today, on the Pirate Monk Podcast.

https://www.bravehearts.org/michael-leahy

We've got a mini-meeting, we've got updates, and we've got our old friend Michael Johnson talking about dating with a bigger picture in mind and guarding your heart in the process.  You might not be dating, but if you've got little kids, trust me, you'll want to think through this stuff.  Log on, stay tuned, plug in, the pirates are on the air.  To connect with Michael and his work, head on over to:

http://f-m-u.com/

The boys are back in the same state and in the same room catching up...mini-meetings are rolling...and some lads from Texas describe how you can have an amazing retreat with your brothers without any permission from your mommies! It's all happening today, on the Pirate Monk Podcast.

This week Nate and Aaron discuss a blog about Game of Thrones, and read a question from a listener that needs your input.  After that, Nate chats with Noel Bouche of Pure Hope.  To find out more about Pure Hope or to check out Noel's podcast, head on over to:

https://purehope.net/

Sit back, put up your feet, or start your lawn mower (Tom), and enjoy a chat with Andrew Osenga of the Normals and Caedmon's Call.  He'll be talking through some of Nate's favorite songs and their stories off his newest album.  If you would like to keep tabs on what Andrew is up to, check him out at http://www.andrewosenga.com/ 

At the beginning of the episode, the boys listen to a modern adaptation of the poem The Hound of Heaven written by Francis Thompson produced by Emblem Media LLC. The book was written by Brian and S...

Today Nate & Aaron get answers to one of their most asked questions.  "What about the women?" "How can my wife get this kind of community?"  To answer that question they've enlisted a bevy of lady travelers to talk about their journies.  To find out more about getting involved, contact Erin at:  women.to.women2717@gmail.com

The administration would like to apologize for the audio during the first segment and makes all promises necessary to ensure that listeners believe audio problems will NEVER happen at ANY time EVER in the future.  

Nate and Aaron chat about the Scotland retreat and play some audio clips from the experiences of its participants.  

Today the boys chat with Dina Alexander MS, about how to talk with kids about technology and sex.  Dina is the author of some great books that will help educate parents and get the conversations started.  Check out her resources at:

https://educateempowerkids.org/

Nate is out of town, so Aaron conscripted one of our favorite buddies Tom Ryan (Ashamed No More) to hang with Kathy Reynolds for part two of the conversation on the practical side of disclosure.  Kathy and Tom give some real-world advice and real-life experience on the good, the bad and the ugly...and the beautiful, of disclosure.  

Check out the ministry Kathy serves with at:  http://www.daringventures.com/

Check out Tom's book Ashamed No More at:   https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0830837930/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_taft_p1_i0

The musi...

Today is part one of two conversations with coach Kathy Reynolds, who talks about her own journey of disclosure, loss, and redemption in her marriage.  Stay tuned for part two when we get into the nitty gritty of what to do and not to do in the dangerous waters of full disclosure. 

As promised...a bit late, below is the poem Singing Warriors by Paige that was read a couple shows back.

Singing Warriors

By Paige

The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.

He wi...

Today EMT and firefighter Joshua Mast talks with the lads about brotherhood in the firehouse and how that translates to deeper community for us all.  Every man is in a battle, but do we know how to support a brother in the fire?

Ever get frustrated with the younger generation and feel like you can't relate?  How about you younger folks who think older guys have little or nothing to offer and just want to change you?  Well, today's episode is for you.  Nate and Aaron sit down and chat with Randall Thomas to get some understanding and hopefully practical tools that will help communities of men find love and authenticity across generational divides.

Today Nate and Aaron Chat with David Cassidy, Pastor of Christ Community Church in Franklin Tennessee, to chat about his book Indispensable: The Basics of Christian Belief.  They discuss the invitation to the common table that binds all Christians of every denomination together. 

The boys sit down with author, speaker, and Jesus pursuer Tony Kriz to look for some clarity about finding truth in a world bombarding us with truth tailored to suit our own desires.  They also dip into the mailbag and answer a letter about relapses and slips.  

Today Nate & Aaron sit down to hear Bill Garner and Jeff Howard tell their stories from both sides of the addiction journey.  Bill and Jeff work to help those struggling with addiction at Harvest Church in Germantown Memphis Tennessee.  

Live and in person, Nate and Aaron sit down with Jeremy Slayden to talk about his experiences as a professional baseball player, and how his need for coaching in his athletic career helped him to dive into seeking coaching in recovery.

Aaron and Nate reconnect after Aaron's big move across the country to Nate's neck of the woods, and Nate leads a mini-meeting with Pirates around the world.

Welcome to today's amazing episode where Pirate Monks from around the world participate in a mini-meeting and Nate and Aaron converse with counselor and certified sex addiction therapist Jim Cress.

To find out more about what Jim is into and up to head on over to jimcress.com

Mondo joins Nate, Aaron, and a bunch of pirate monks for a special episode of the podcast recorded on Sunday morning at the 2018 "Another 48 Hours" fall retreat.

Today Nate & Aaron answer some mail and then run a conversation Nate and David Hampton had with CCM artist Russ Taff on his journey out of addiction and into forgiveness and healing.

Today, Jay Stringer, author of Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, unpacks a story of great hope for those in the battle for victory.  Check out Jay's website to learn more at:

http://jay-stringer.com/

Today the three-part series on privilege wraps up with a conversation about things heterosexual people may not consider in their day-to-day lives. Nate & Aaron hope that these conversations have been useful and informative, but more than that encouraged you to engage in conversations that help you to understand and love the people around you better.

Do you ever feel your soul needs rest, but you feel the push to do more for Jesus?  Curtis Zackery might have something to say to you on today's conversation with the boys. Check it out. Listen. Learn. Enjoy...

Today the series on privilege continues as Nate and Aaron chat with a few experts on being women... and so the conversation continues.  What do other people mean when the word privilege is used. 

Today Nate and Aaron begin a three-part series on privilege, a word that has taken on important and controversial new weight over the past few years.  In this first installment, the boys speak with Pastor Kujanga Jackson and their old buddy Mondo to learn about what aspects of white privilege they have never considered before.  

Tune in and hang out with some of the pirates leading virtual meetings. They might just answer a question you had running around in your mind.

Most Christians are caught in a belief that there are two poles in dealing with our flesh, master it, or indulge it.  In this episode, Nate and Aaron chat with Michael about a third way to work through our flesh desires.

Here is an Amazon link to the Lewis book on love that Aaron talked about.  Included on the link is the audio version that was referred to. 

https://www.amazon.com/The-Four-Loves/dp/B0007OB5QM

Free versions of the Four Loves are available on Youtube here:

On this episode, Nate and Aaron sit down with columnist and author Jonathan Merritt, to talk about his newest book Learning to Speak God from Scratch:  Why Sacred Words Are Vanishing -- and How We Can Revive Them.  Strap in and put your helmets on, because this will be a wild ride.

Aaron talks with Nate and his daughter Kristin about their recent father/daughter trip to Ireland and England.

Nate and Aaron hear about a cool new ministry Caleb and Larry have been working on, which will bring leadership and pastoral mentorship to folks around the world who do not have access to traditional schools and tools.  To find out more, head on over to:  leading-well.com

This Episode's Music:

The Quilty Hornpipe - Skip Henderson

Everyday People - Sly & The Family Stone

Peace of God - Insyderz

Don’t Tell Them Jesus Loves Them - Steve Camp

Plush - Stone Temple Pilots

Nate and Aaron touch base with Kirk Giles, president of Promise Keepers Canada and answer follow-up questions from a past podcast.

Hang out with OP (original pirate) David Bunker as he explores the strange tension we experience in corporate worship and how to discover an authentic emotional experience with our Abba.

Ever wondered what a truckin' man thinks about during all that alone time in the cab of his rig? Find out today as Nate and Aaron talk with Chad Bird, author of Night Driving, Notes From a Prodigal Soul.

To find more of Chad's resources, head over to:

chadbird.com

Today, Nate and Aaron sit down with Virginia and talk about her life and experiences as an exotic dancer and re-discovering the love of God. 

The extra piratey Nate and Aaron open the mail bag today to talk through listener questions (and piratey suggestions), and then sit down to chat with Bryan Craig of Influencers Global Ministries.  (Yes, they were standing for the first segment.) The Influencers have created a process by which men and women all over the world are experiencing deeper walks as disciples of Jesus Christ. Tune in, get inspired, and head out into the great adventure.

For more information on the Influencers' ministry, check out:

http://www.influencers.org/

Today Lynn Cherry, the wife of a recovering sex addict, talks about her own process of recovery from denial and anger. Lynn is the author of "Keep Walking: 40 Days to Hope and Freedom after Betrayal," a very helpful resource for anyone on a similar journey. Check out her website:

https://lynnmariecherry.com/

Today Nate and Aaron, who is sitting next to a river on his phone, get a check in from Michael Cusick about his upcoming Surfing For God Intensive, and have a conversation with David Hampton about his book, After the Miracle. 

To grab a copy of David's book head over to:

https://www.amazon.com/After-Miracle-Illusions-Along-Restoration/dp/1683505778/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1525477794&sr=1-2&refinements=p_27%3ADavid+Hampton

And to find out more about Michael's intensive click:

https://restoringthesoul.com/weekend/

Today the boys sit down with Lisa Eldred, a staff writer with Covenant Eyes, to chat about her new book Hobbies and Habits. Lisa is passionate about helping folks find joy and life during the walk towards sobriety. If you've felt like your struggle against the flesh has been one big dark hole, this week's episode is for you. 

You can download Lisa's book for free at:

https://learn.covenanteyes.com/hobbies-and-habits/

and there are many more books available from covenant eyes, including Lisa's book More Than Single at:

http://www.co...

Catch up with the boys as they hang with Mondo, yes he's back, and then have a great conversation with author and all around smart guy Lance Ford. The discussion revolves around the dangers and development of hierarchical business model leadership structures in the western church, and how those models might not be the best way to foster community and the development of the gifts God gave His people. If you are happy sitting on the sidelines and accepting that pastors are the ones who should be in the game, make sure to not listen to this one. Tune...

Today Pastor Robbyn Abedi, a coach with Tin Man Ministries, talks with the boys about his story of hope in shame and gives some great insight into learning to be present instead of hiding in life's performance. You might even learn some practical things about masturbation that you were too afraid to ask...not practical "how to's"...but practical...whatever, just listen to the podcast.

Today, the lads sit down with Robert Beeson to talk about single parenting and his new book Going Solo. Robert has created a new format for creating support and community for single parents in your local church. Learn more at soloparentsociety.com.

Today the boys talk with Ben and Ann Wilson who share their inspirational story of hope in betrayal and God's love that fills in all the gaps of shame and guilt.

Grab their book on Kindle for a special limited time price:

https://www.amazon.com/Betrayed-Betrayer-Rescuing-Marriage-Affair/dp/0692414053

Today, Nate & Aaron answer some listener questions and chat about the manly act of being needy.

Join us for a facinating conversation with sexologist and marriage expert Joe Beam, with a special guest answering listerner mail.

Merry Christmas to all aboard the good ship Pirate Monk. Today Nate & Aaron chat about the holidays, have a mini meeting and discuss the stages of their parenting adventures, learning to surrender along the road.

Today Nate & Aaron have a great conversation with author, speaker, missionary, husband and dad Matt Mikalatos. Matt shares his thoughts on the ideas surrounding the "Alpha Male" and tells the touching story behind his latest book, Sky Lantern. Spoiler Alert: His wife was right.

If you want to check out what's happening in the world of Matt Mikalatos or grab a book, check out these links below.

 www.mikalatos.com

Twitter: twitter.com/mattmikalatos

FB: facebook.com/mikalatosbooks

Sky Lantern post:
http://www.norvillerogers.com/an-open-letter-to-steph-who-sent-a-sky-lantern-to-her-father-which-landed-in-my-driveway/

The...

Pull up a beanbag chair and enjoy a post thanksgiving conversation with Nate and Michael Leahy as they discuss some new technology that is going to help educate folks on breaking the chains of porn addiction.

Check out the rest of the boys' live conversatiion with some Pirate Monks at the Samson Recharge Weekend in Tennessee. 

Join us and 60 of our fellow pirates for a live conversation during the Samson Recharge weekend. Nate, Aaron and Mondo field questions from the crew of the good ship "We Have No Idea What's Going On."

Today Nate and Aaron sit down and have a conversation with WWE hall of fame wrestler Ted DiBiase about his journey back to his family and faith after he discovered the true price of fame. A documentary on his life and faith journey will be shown November 7th. To find out what theater near you will be showing "The Price of Fame," go to:

https://www.fathomevents.com/events/the-price-of-fame?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=the+price+of+fame&utm_term=87am&utm_content=textad&gclid=Cj0KCQjw4eXPBRCtARIsADvOjY0KxblqBOCHLGr4JCMmIBN7GooPMkyrAk6qKqOEInVjPIV14ZBzgJMaAso4...

Today national speaker Chris Simning shares about lessons he's learned about community through living with a physical dissability and the common threads that holds with every persons soul disabilities. Don't miss this exciting, tantalizing episode of the pirate monk podcast.

The boys tread in deep waters as they talk about social justice and capital punishment with Shane Claiborne. If this sounds too scary for you...don't listen. But we think you should!

Mike talks with the boys about some of the neurological and social reasons we get entrenched in a way of thinking and can't / won't amend our views. This is also summarized as, "why I am a bad listener and only want you to change your mind." All that and more on today's episode of the pirate monk podcast.

Today Jeff Schulte of Tin Man Ministries unpacks some of what he will be teaching on at the Samson Recharge weekend coming up in October, the importance and role of emotions in a man's life. 

If you haven't signed up for the weekend, check it out at:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/pirate-monk-recharge-weekend-2017-tickets-36758342191

Nate has also published a new ebook on accountability which can be downloaded for free at:

http://www.2lin.cc/beyondaccountability

Pull up a chair, switch on that listening device and get into the back story of the new Movie, The Heart of Man, opening September 14th.  Producer and Writer Jason Pamer tells us a little of what into this movie that searches for the heart of our Abba in the midst of personal struggles and pitfalls.

To find out what city The Heart of Man will be playing in, go to:   http://heartofmanmovie.com/

To watch the theatrical tralor, click:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qJHd17RQeg

Nate and Dr. Tom Moucka call in from their Samson road trip visiting brothers down south. This stop, Don Waller's group in Jackson Mississippi.

Today the boys talk with Tony Kriz about the miraculous gift of story, and the discipline of slowing down enough to engage the one God has put us in.

MUSIC FROM TODAY'S EPISODE

Song 1: Ben Folds - Zak & Sara

Song 2: Five Iron Frenzy - Solidarity

Song 3:   Ibrahim Ferrer- Compositor Confundido

Song 4: Kyle Matthews - The Way We Go About it Matters

Song 5: Chagall Guevara - It All Comes True

Today Nate & Aaron chat with old friend and Samson OG Scott Phillips about his journey away from home, through the unexpected wilderness and the deep discovery of a Father who loves us. 

You can find Scott's music with his band Good Little Giants at:

goodlittlegiants.com

The three songs played in the middle breaks of today's episode are from his album, "Arrows."

Today Chad Robichaux, recon marine, mixed martial artist, husband & father, talks about his journey through battle, competition, ptsd and finding how much strength it takes to be a man of God. If you are in the mood for someone boring...skip this episode.

To read more about Chad's program for soldiers, or to order his book, click the link below.

http://www.mightyoaksprograms.org/

Today Nate & Aaron sit down and chat with CCM artist Matthew Ward and talk about the communal aspects of the Church in the late 60's and 70's when Matthew was singing with his two sisters in the band 2nd Chapter of Acts. They discuss some of the positive and negative aspects of a Church taking seriously the notion of living together as one body, a true community. 

Today Aaron and guest co-host Brian Kay talk with Gary Weyel of Life Water and discuss the greatest killer on the planet. Stay tuned and get informed. If you want to learn more about Life Water, click the link below.

https://lifewater.org/

Brian and Aaron also discussed his new album that was released on noisetrade this week. If you'd like to download a free copy, click:

http://noisetrade.com/aaronporter/waiting-to-see

Today Nate & Aaron sit down with their old friend Ken Chester to talk about Ken's "Rez Meals," a purposeful time for believers to meet over the body and blood of Christ and bring their authentic selves. 

Today Nate & Aaron talk to Michael Leahy about his story and the Bravehearts ministry that mentors men from sexual addiction to powerful walks with Jesus. They also dip into the mail bag to answer some of your questions.

To check out Michael's ministry, go to bravehearts.org

Catherine Etherington is an empathetic and articulate mother-of-two from England who has helped hundreds of women come to terms with the news that they have been sleeping with a sex addict. Here's a taste of her wisdom:

Nate: Some Christian women are told that their responsibility towards a repentant spouse (or even an unrepentant one) is to forgive and forget. Is that true? Is it even possible? Are there healthier alternatives that produce healing?

Cat: That is such an important issue and one that we in the church don’t really talk about eno...

Jay Asher is the author behind the bestselling book 13 Reasons Why which is now an original Netflix series. Subscribers have gone wild for the young adult mystery series about a girl who commits suicide and sends audio cassettes explaining why. Jay Asher wrote 13 Reasons Why after penning a number of other books. Aaron invited him into his studio for episode 51, which was posted on February 8, 2011, to talk about his life, background, and why he thinks the subject resonates. Nate, Aaron, and Mondo dive into the deep end of the pool as well to discuss despair, checking in with other...

How do you handle failure? Counselor and Pastor Brian Kay joins us to talk about stand up comedy and so much more. Bring your resentment list to talk about with the guys and enjoy a super-sized edition of the Pirate Monk Podcast. Brian has his own podcast. Check out Shot Put.

Music Used on this Episode Get Back Up by TobyMac

Miracle of the Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman

Blessed Be Your Name by Tree63

Find out more about Mark's upcoming race or make a donation here:

One of our favorite guests, Ian Cron, drops in for a swerving conversation about his latest book, The Road Back to You. It's his take on the enneagram so you know Aaron has a lot to say.

His book

His podcast

His free assessment

Mark's April Race:

 Please watch this video and join his effort.

 Music Used on the Episode:

"Who am I" by Margaret Becker

"Who am I" by Casting Crowns  

If listening in your browser, scoll to the bottom of the notes to find the player controls.

The Pirate Ship is decorated for Christmas today and full of suggestions for your Christmas Music pleasure.

Nate gives an update on Allie and her challenges.

Then we welcome an old friend and fellow Monk to the microphone: Jamey "Chunjay" Bennett, one half of the hip hop duo, Royal Ruckus.

Royal Ruckus
Click here to stream or download the 3-song Christmas EP, "Lonely Christmas". Also, find other Christmas music on this compilation from...

Aaron follows up on his promise from the last episode and invites Dr. Paul Corona to discuss treating depression and addiction with medicine.

Nate, Aaron, and Mark dive right into the topic: willingness in recovery.

The Article on Willingness Discussed Today

Scripture Used in this Edition

"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Jesus speaking in Matthew 26:41

The Pool of Siloam, John 9

Great Quotes from this Episode

"An expectation is a premeditated resentment."

"Expectation does not equal hope."

Music Used on...

This edition of the podcast was recorded on May 18, 2016 and first published on July 13, 2016

To keep you informed, you must know what a bunganut is before you have a great burger and play a game of pool at Th...

Listen back to clips from the top three listened to podcast episodes of 2015.

Nate shared an article by Tim Challies. Read the article here.

Today Nate & Aaron chat with author and speaker Frank Schaeffer about his newest book, "Why I am an Atheist Who Believes in God," as well topics ranging from growing up in the spotlight, to finding second chances and new depth views into love with grandkids.